Miles Marshall Lewis has written for numerous major publications, including The Believer and Wax Poetics. He edited the literary journal, Bronx Biannual, and has published three books, including There’s a Riot Goin’ On, a book about the life and times of Sly and the Family Stone. He’s a blogger and a traveler. He’s a lot of things. But he also writes really good erotica and not the “traditional” kind. ”Like bad poetry, erotica can get cliché and predictable”, Miles explains. Here Miles gets OPEN and shares his perspectives on the artform, sexuality and marriage, sex in Paris, and why when it comes to erotica, class over crass is the best practice.
How did your interest in erotica come about and what drew you to it? Who are some of the writers who first inspired you and how would you describe your erotic writing style?
I started reading erotica early in high school, before I even got laid the first time. There was a guy, Michael Avallone, who wrote spy books using a lot of different pseudonyms. His most popular character was a James Bond knockoff named Nick Carter. Avallone wrote erotica in the late ’60s as Troy Conway, at least 30 trashy novels like Just a Silly Millimeter Longer, The Billion Dollar Snatch and A Stiff Proposition.They were all about this really hung spy, Rod Damon a.k.a. the Coxeman. He was born with priapism, which meant he never lost his erections. His entire sex life was like Viagra to the nth degree. Insatiable nymphos running through the books were always pleasantly surprised. The Coxeman books taught me a lot of tricks that mostly didn’t work, but it was my only real exposure until the black erotica anthology, Brown Sugar.
In 2003 erotica editor Carol Taylor invited me to submit something for Brown Sugar 3: When Opposites Attract. I had already written “Diva Moves” just for myself, based on a pathological liar, a mythomaniac nymphomaniac, I’d messed around with, a sister from Miami. Carol published it, and reached out to me again two years later when she put together Wanderlust: Erotic Travel Tales. I was living in Paris then, and I gave her “Irrésistible,” about a DJ caught between two study abroad students in Spain and France. Ruthie’s Club folded, but it was a site publishing erotica that got reprinted a lot in Susie Bright’s Best American Erotica books. They published “Threesomes,” my ménage à trois story. I’ve described my writing style as “neurotica,” because my lead characters seem to be on the neurotic side. Like bad poetry, erotica can get cliché and predictable. For me, the easiest way out of that box is to make my protagonists a little bugged out.
Since you have written in depth about Sly and the Family Stone, how would you describe the relationship between psychedelic funk music and sexuality and love? Do you think the ’70s were more open than the times are now in American society?
Sex has always been a big motivating force with musicians. They’re talented and they love music, sure, but chasing fame has a lot to do with unlimited wealth and unlimited sex. Holed up in a Beverly Hills mansion in 1971, Sly Stone allegedly had orgies going on with Scarface mounds of cocaine. He would stay up for days at a time recording this dark, funky masterpiece record, There’s a Riot Goin’ On, in-between all the sex and drugs he could handle. Sly and the Family Stone practically started psychedelic soul: distorted electric rhythm guitars, backward solos and stuff. They played the Woodstock festival in 1969, with hippies smoking weed and dancing naked in the mud. The sexual revolution and free love were huge then, the Pill was new and all that.
Were the ’70s more open than America is now? That’s hard to say. If you judge by Plato’s Retreat swingers’ clubs, horny adult board games like Bumps and Grinds, the Playboy Clubs (I went to one in New Jersey when I was 8 years old, by the way), then I guess so. I remember too all the men’s skin magazines—like Chic, Oui and Players—that have gone out of business, and seedy Times Square’s XXX movies. The Internet changed everything on so many levels. Free porn in the privacy of your own bedroom is always a Google search away, which automatically gets rid of paying for Cheri magazine or Debbie Does Dallas in a sticky movie theater. With gay marriage getting legislated and Obama getting rid of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” maybe America’s more open now than it was then. Sex and the City was a lot more randy than Love, American Style. Webcam girls are the new phone-sex girls.
What did you gain from your experiences living in Paris? What differences did you notice about French vs. American perspectives related to sexuality and how is sexuality represented in French pop culture, media and society? Would you say Parisians are more or less conservative than we are in the States?
I just got back from Paris last summer after living in France seven years. I met my wife and got married there, our boys were born in the 14th arrondissement. I love Paris. I learned a lot about language, food and Black culture around the world. The French U.S. Embassy sent me to speak at colleges in Algeria, the British Film Institute put me up in London to talk at their Tupac retrospective. I spoke with Terence Trent D’Arby over in Milan for The Believer magazine. My wife and I went to Amsterdam, the French Alps, Marais Poitevin (the “green Venice”) and Deauville (the “Parisian Riviera”) on vacations. While I was there, I wrote a column called “Paris Noir” for PopMatters where I talked about a lot of it. Then blogging took off and I launched Furthermucker, talking about being a 21st century expat in Paris. It’s different. Hemingway and Baldwin didn’t have Tumblrs.
Sexuality in Paris is a lot more open in advertising. Sexy lingerie posters for Aubade are plastered everywhere. Nudity is shown on television with no problems, the French seem less embarrassed by the naked body. Women sunbathe nude in the summertime at Paris-Plages, where the French set up sandy beaches and palm trees at the Seine river in July. The whole thing with Paris and the French is class over crass. Elegance and culture and cosmopolitanism is what they’re all about, and it spills into their sexuality. There are hundreds of legal sex clubs in Paris. Burlesque shows are still popular, I saw a Dita Von Teese performance over there.
The French seem to be more open than Americans, but I’m a native New Yorker. I would say New York City and the L.A. area are less like the rest of the U.S. than other states. New Yorkers are some of the freakiest, horniest, experimental and sexually open people I’ve met. Parisians can be conservative too, in ways that New Yorkers are not. Anything goes here. The French are prim sometimes. The flipside of trying to be so classy is getting ashamed real fast, like the Japanese cliché of losing face.
Another thing: There are nude pictures floating around of France’s former First Lady, Carla Bruni. Back in her modeling days, she dated Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton. She’s 44, she’s got albums out. I guess Michelle Obama is attractive in a Clair Huxtable kind of way, but she wasn’t posing nude. Sexuality is so open in Paris that you can Google and ogle naked pictures of the rock star First Lady, and nobody bats an eye.
In a great piece you wrote for Essence magazine a while ago called “Fighting Temptation,” you talked about what is considered crossing the line when it comes to marriage and flirting. You wrote: “My self-image was definitely tied to my ability to attract the opposite sex. Some men who feel this way just secretly cheat and refuse to face a mature change in self-identity.” Do you think it’s realistic for people to insist their partners stop flirting once they are married? What do you think of the position of some people that monogamy is unnatural? How do you personally resolve those inner conflicts?
Flirting is natural. It’s possible that certain people can’t wait to get married and be monogamous because they’re not too attractive or charming or interesting in the first place, and when they find that one love partner, they’re only too happy to dig in for dear life. People on the other side of the spectrum, who feel like their options are more wide open, make the choice to get married a little less desperately. And flirtation is gonna happen between good-looking, life-curious, sexually alive people. Beauty can be inspiring just like a great film or moving music or whatever. To wall yourself off from that just because of your wedding vows is, like, wow. Marriage isn’t jail. When it feels that way, people end up getting divorced or cheating, because your libido doesn’t really change that much. To pretend it does is sort of unnatural.
That said, love is pretty much a choice. Fireworks and magic are parts of it, of course. But to me, love means actively going out of your way not to do things that would hurt your partner’s feelings. I mean, it’s the least you could do. Whether monogamy is natural or not, loving someone means having enough self-control to stay away from doing things that hurt them.
What was the premise for your new sex and relationship column, “Common Sensual” that you are now writing for Ebony.com? “The Space Between Lovers” is one of my favorite posts so far. In what ways can space be good, not to mention healthy, in a relationship, even marriage?
Details has re-launched around three times, and in the ’90s, the magazine had a really cool sex columnist named Anka Radakovich. I wanted to tackle a sexier beat with “Common Sensual” and write my Black, male version of the fun stuff I used to read from Anka Radakovich. As far as space, everybody needs a certain amount. The best marriages and partnerships come from partners who are best friends. Best friends tend to like being around each other a lot, and when you share an apartment and a queen-size bed together, that works in your favor. But taking some space for yourself helps you keep your own identity outside of being a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. Who you are is what attracted you to the other person to begin with; some alone time to get your head together is the best way to maintain that.
The story you wrote for OPEN Vol. 1 entitled “Turnstile” was pretty creative. What inspired that story?
For years I had this idea about the subway turnstiles in Times Square overloading sexual energy from the pelvises of thousands of people into some unsuspecting prude. With “Turnstile,” I finally got the story out of my system. Erotica stories are more exciting to write when they stray from the “boy meets girl, boy screws girl” formula. Fictionalizing real-life sex escapades gets tiring too, for writers and readers. “Turnstile” was a lot more Twilight Zone, something that could never possibly have happened to anybody. I never knew where to go with the story after that nugget of an idea, but when I committed to getting it all down, it started to write itself.
What advice do you have for aspiring erotica writers?
Fictionalize your real-life sex escapades. Then look up from your own erogenous zone and stretch out into fantasy as your writing confidence improves. Erotica should be more seductive than pornographic. If you want to go gonzo with it, make your graphic descriptions more of a spice than the main course. Think class over crass.
Follow Miles on Tumblr and on Twitter @furthermucker
Check out his Common Sensual column on Ebony.com
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